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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23095963">I won't lose you again; You need to understand that Peter Parker</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, BAMF Michelle Jones, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Family Feels, M/M, Multi, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Pepper Potts, Separation Anxiety, Tony Stark Needs a Hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:47:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,484</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23095963</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter Parker has a hard time accepting that he is loved, after what happened on Titan his anxiety got worse...</p><p>Basically it's me making Peter cry for however long I want :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harley Keener &amp; Peter Parker &amp; Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Peter, I won't lose you again.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this in English instead of doing what the teacher asked...</p><p>...if you liked this please comment why so I can creat more content like this :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sat frozen, Tony's hands reached out to him. Their eyes met, one watching untrustingly whilst the other pleaded desperately. Melted chocolate eyes - cold and untrusting, glaring at Tony. Pete's once warm smile, the one Tony had remembered on Titan, was forgotten and missing. His eyes were so empty. Glassy with tears. Yet there was something behind them, so unforgiving. The question was why.</p><p>His face was pale, his cheek bones jutted out and Tony could clearly see Peter's collarbone from the thin fabric that covered the starving teen. A mix of brown and red draped over his face, hair so greasy it could be drained into a frying pan to cook burgers on. Ratty tangles swallowing up his tiny head in a weed like style. </p><p>If there was any hope left in this boy, any happiness, every the tiniest shred of love; Tony suspected it would be hard to find it again. Only a dark desperation held in his sunken sockets. Tony was going to find it! He knew he was! He had to; this was <em>his</em> boy. His Peter! Tony wasn't going to give up on his unofficial son.</p><p>It was a mission gone wrong; Tony had agreed that Peter was ready for it - the boy was twenty one now, he was no longer the teen who would openly freak out about working with Captain America. Peter could do it mentally now; the kid had come far. Obviously Tony was wrong; they whole gang were outnumbered thirty to one. It wouldn't seem like a lot if the thirty weren't super huge, super strong, super soldiers that HYDRA thought would be fun to set free on the world. Tony got knocked out trying to save Peter and Peter - poor Baby Parker - was taken carelessly from Stark's tight grip. </p><p>Eighteen weeks, three days and nine hours of searching for Parker and once they got the broken boy back he was scared of his own shadow. Peter looked at Tony and fainted on sight, he could only stand to be with Michelle and even when they were together he was untrusting, cold and distant. Michelle's heart was crushing at the lost trust but she would stick by him no matter what. She was the reason why Peter agreed to see Stark.</p><p>"Peter. Please? Look at me, son."  Tony found himself asking, a pitiful rasp as he swallowed the lump built up in his throat. "Please just talk to me."</p><p>Peter looked away, his mouth pulled into a thin line. He was struggling against himself, his trembling hands betraying his cold, glaring eyes. His heavy racing heart betraying and unfaithful to his bitter thoughts.</p><p>If anyone every looked at him now, they would never see the true Peter Parker. The one who was obsessed with Star Wars, the one who still made Legos at the end of a hard work shift. The young adult who would play dress up with his eleven year old sister to make sure she was always smiling. What they would see now was a shell of a broken soul, a broken man. This wasn't Peter Parker, this was a lost man who may never smile again. But Tony would make sure his son would smile; his Peter deserved to be happy. Peter should never had to go down the path Tony had travelled. This wasn't fair on the boy; not one bit.</p><p>"Peter. Look at me, now." Tony demanded, more power in his voice than before. "Look at me, son. Tell me why you are doing this."</p><p>"Enough." His horse voice whispered. Peter looked away from Tony and buried his head deeper into his pillow. </p><p>"Why. Why are you shutting us out? Why are you shutting the world out! What's so scary, so bad, that you won't talk to me!?" Tony pushed, he had to. He needed to help Peter and they only way for him to help was to get Peter out of his head, he needed his son back. "Let us help you! Let me help you Peter? Please!?"</p><p>"Because you'll leave me again." Peter screamed. "I'm scared of losing you again."</p><p>If Tony's heart wasn't broken already then Peter's cries would shatter it even more. </p><p>"Why? Please, Peter. Tell me what's going on."</p><p>Beneath Peter's coldness, hidden deep within him was a feeling that would always be within the kid.</p><p>"Because I can't live without you Dad."</p><p>Deep within this man was a frightened little boy who wanted everything back to normal.</p><p>"I will never leave you Peter."</p><p>"But you did."</p><p>"No. I didn't and I will always be by your side. You will never lose you, and do you want to know why?"</p><p>Peter looked up at his dad. Hopefulness in his eyes.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because, Peter. You will always be the one thing I can't replace. Harley may be your brother, he may had been around whilst you were gone, but you will forever be my son and nobody will ever replace you my son."</p><p>Deep within the boy was betrayal and it was crushing the kid to death. </p><p>"Promise?"</p><p>Tony hooked his finger around Peter's skinny one, the boy smiled - even if it was almost invisible - and Tony felt hope that things would get better.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. T is for Trauma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ever since Peter returned home he had closed himself off. Nobody could break down his walls; nobody <em>really, truly</em> wanted Peter to be home - the voices told him so. The only reason Peter was home was because the heroes pitied the kid; sure Peter was twenty one but he would forever be a kid in their eyes.</p><p>A reckless, carless orphan boy who wasn't cut out for being Spider-Man.</p><p>So he cried all by himself since his 'rescue and return', not knowing if this was the end of being Spider-Man, or if he was just trapped back at the base with a new drug coursing though his veins - some hallucinogenic that played on his sick and twisted thoughts. That had to be it! It was another test from HYDRA! They knew that he knew he could last longer than most, because of his abilities. They must be experimenting on him again; the Avengers never cared about him <em>this</em> much before . </p><p>Peter thought back to the time before his fourteenth birthday; the week before Peter got his powers. The month Uncle Ben had died. He thought about the bullet that flew through the air, piercing Ben's chest. Even now Peter could picture the blood splattering his younger face. He could see the perps face - the man who got away and left fourteen year old Peter Benjamin Parker on the sidewalk to try and save his uncle. Leaving Peter behind to hear Ben's last words.</p><p>
  <em>"I will always be with you." Ben's trembling hand reached and grasped Peter's bloody ones. "You are so much stronger then you think, Peter. With great power comes great responsibility; I know you will make me proud."</em>
</p><p>Peter's mind drifts from the horrors of Ben's death back to his current night terrors he was living through. Just a few hours ago, Peter had woken up again, his heart pounding in his ears and all of the air being sucked out of his lungs. He almost called Tony, and it had hit him all over again.</p><p>Tony wasn't going to come for him.</p><p>Tony didn't want him.</p><p>So here he is, lying on his bed, practically itching and aching for someone to comfort him. He knows he can't keep this up, he can't do this alone anymore. He wishes so badly Tony was here. So, he picks up his phone to call the only other person in his life that might just stay with him for the night.</p><p><em>MJ</em>.</p><p>"Peter, it's fucking two in the morning, what the <em>hell</em> do you want?" MJ grumbles into the phone, already stretching and yawning knowing that there was no hope she was going to go back to bed any time soon. Peter knows that MJ likes her sleep, so he immediately regrets calling her this late.</p><p>"I-I'm sorry, I just had a hard time sleeping and was thinking about how much I wished  that I could see you again. I miss you MJ, I know you're not real and that you're not really listening or breathing - or even real - I just wish I could see you again, that's all. I'm so sorry for calling you in the middle of the night or day. I don't really know what time it is over here..." Peter rambles for approximately two seconds before MJ realises what's going on. He thinks he's back at HYDRA's base.</p><p>"Shut up, Nerd. I'll be over in ten minutes but you have to <em>promise </em>that we'll sleep when I get there, we have Shuri coming over tomorrow to help with your therapy." MJ says, and Peter knows it's in his head. He known's it's not real but his hallucination of MJ hasn't hung up on him yet so he still finds some hope in the chaos of his mind. "Honestly, Parker, this is just another reason why I am the best girlfriend <em>ever</em>, and you cannot say otherwise."</p><p>MJ hangs up a sends a message off to May who was working her night shirt, warning the older woman of Peter's mood. She had to sneak out so her brother couldn't snitch on her and walks down the alley ways to Peter's apartment; pepper spray at the ready and her phone in her front pocket in case she needs to call Spidey for help. Amazingly, she makes it to the fire escape and hops through Peter's window fifteen minutes later.</p><p>As soon as her feet hit his carpet, Peter's arms are wrapped around her tightly, the lump in his throat growing. "I wish you were really here." He mumbles into MJ's shoulder, sniffing the honey scent in her damp hair. He breathes deeply, reminding himself that this wasn't real</p><p>Or was it?!</p><p>Peter locked eyes with MJ and, finally, it clicked that he was safe.</p><p>"Peter? Parker? Babe?" MJ grasps his hands tightly in hers and pulls him to her bed. "Where are you?"</p><p>"I-I'm at Aunt Ma-May's apartment." He whispers.</p><p>"That's amazing, Peter. Who am I?"</p><p>"MJ. My girlfriend." He smiles sadly through his tears.</p><p>"Great. The best girlfriend ever, I know." They both smirk and she knows Peter's back to himself.</p><p>"Can I let go?"</p><p>"Yes, Nerd. Let go, I've got you."</p><p>This, this moment right here, Peter could feel the weight of guilt and fear dropping from his shoulders and the longer and tighter she holds onto him, the safer he feels. In MJ's presence, he is finally at peace.</p><p>MJ lets go and sets her bag down by the desk in the corner of the room. She brushes away a strand of hair from her face as she looks back up, and Peter decides that it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.</p><p>MJ was right; she truly is the best girlfriend ever.</p><p>"You know how Mysterio... tricked people with those drones?" It was silent as the young couple laid side by side in bed, holding each other close - Peter fearing he would lose her if he let go, MJ fearing Peter would lose himself. "Like, how everything that he projected seemed <em>so real</em>?" Peter bites his lip to stop it from trembling. He can't do this. Saying the things he heard and seen made them so much more real than he could ever imagine.</p><p>MJ nods her head, blinking sleepily yet still paying close enough attention. Peter never brought up old memories, he liked to bury them deep down and forget about them. He was a puzzle; one that she could never give up on.</p><p>"Well, he used that against me, when you and the others were with Happy." Peter's voice cracks while he is looking at MJ's face, he knew that if he didn't look at her, her big brown eyes so warming and loving, that he would never be able to say it out loud. He's going to let the tsunami in his mind destroy him soon, but he needs to say this out loud to her face. "I saw you, MJ. He used you against me because <em>you are</em> my biggest weakness. He held you on the top of the Eiffel Tower, and then he <em>dropped you</em>." Peter's trembling voice and shaking hands slowly wrapped around MJ as she tumbled into him. She wasn't used to being so touchy feely in their relationship, but at times like this, Peter needed someone to help him.</p><p>MJ was willing to be that someone for him.</p><p>Peter's soft cries filled the room, and MJ's heart shattered. She wasn't a stranger to seeing Peter cry, but it never go any easier watching him die on the inside. She would do anything to take away his pain, not even caring about her own demons she likes to keep hidden away. MJ would do anything for Peter - anything to make him happy again. Her boyfriend deserved peace for once in his life and MJ would be dammed if he wouldn't get it.</p><p>Peter trembles in MJ's arms, wanting to tuck away the memories; she knew what she had to do.</p><p>"Hey, Nerd. Can you look up at me for a second?" Peter looked up at her, eyes welled up with guilty - soul crushing guilt. "You are the strongest man I know; you will never lose me. I will always be by your side, holding your hand at every occasion, trying to eat your aunt's awful rock cakes that I'm sure she makes with actual rocks." Peter giggled at that and she knew he was listening to her, relaxing slowly back into his old self. </p><p>"I will always be with you baby. Nobody can take me from you; I will never leave your side, I promise."</p><p>Peter held out his pinkie and MJ hooked hers around it. </p><p>"You can't take back this promise, MJ" </p><p>He held out his second pinkie and smiled at her. </p><p>"I double promise you Peter Parker. I will always be there with you, day or night; rain or shine."</p><p>That night when Peter fell asleep in MJ's arms, the young woman's mind would forever be flooded with trauma. </p><p>Trauma that her boyfriend never should have gone through.</p><p>Trauma that MJ would help him through.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Just a quick message</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So,,,,,ummm,,,,,not many people read this story so not that this massage means anything but I will be taking a break from writing MARVEL for a while...….yeah,,,,it's not that I odn't love writing it or anything it's just that it's getting sorta boring so I was thinking that I'll create something different</p><p>If you happen to want more MARVEL context then please send me your ideas and I could write up a short story based around it :))))</p><p>Thanks for taking the time to read this short message</p><p>Peace out</p><p>-Birdy</p>
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